The Birth of Compassion

Why is compassion really needed now? The reason is because everyone actually suffers, the world is suffering. Rashedi, Plante, & Callister (2015) use the term 'disconnected world' to describe the current state of the world which is full of wars on a variety of scales; racial, religious and ethnic-based discrimination and violence in various parts of the world, substance abuse, conflict between groups, and various kinds of violence and crime. Researchers agree with Rashedi, Plante, & Callister (2015) that our world experiences suffering because of the 'disconnected world'. Actually the condition of 'disconnected world' is ironic, considering that information technology opens opportunities for humans to interact with each other without being limited by distance and time. Abstract

The internet makes this world an 'open' one to be explored, and gives people the opportunity to connect with each other. But precisely in this supposed to be an easy period, there is a disconnection. Humans become alienated from themselves, with each other, and with their environment.
Humans are creatures that interact socially and need each other. Some have excess assets but do not have the time and expertise to manage and develop them, on the other hand there are those who have skill skills but do not have capital. With the gathering of these two types of people it is hoped that they can complement each other and facilitate the development of these assets and abilities. (Rahmati, 2018)

History of Compassion
Compassion comes from the concept of 'karuna' which comes from Sanskrit and Pali. Karuna is highly preferred in all Buddhist teachings. In Theravada, karuna is called a way of achieving true happiness and heavenly rebirth. Karuna is also one of the four brahmavihara or noble qualities that all sentient beings should have, or also called catur paramita (four sublime states of mind) as follows: a) Metta (love), which is an inner state in which a person wishes to materialize the welfare and happiness of others. b) Karuna (compassion), which is an inner state in which a person wishes to reduce the suffering of others. c) Mudita (sympathy), which is an inner state in which someone feels joy to witness the happiness of others and the loss of jealousy and envy. d) Uppekkha (inner equilibrium), which is an inner state in which a person has a right, just, not one-sided consideration. In Theravada teachings, the enemy of karuna is divided into two: a) Distant enemies (which seem contradictory), namely cruelty. b) Close enemies (which disguise like compassion, but actually are not), namely pity, which also contains the desire to get rid of suffering but with egoistic reasons (not a pure motivation that wishes to reduce the suffering of others).

Compassion as a Moral Value
In moral psychology, there is a change in focus from one-way moral reasoning and cognitive development perspectives from Kohlberg (1984) to a broader view of morality, which includes personality with moral and moral emotions (Haidt, 2001;Peterson & Seligman, 2004;Walker & Pitts, 1998in Osswald, et al, 2010. Moral behavior is closely related to prosocial behavior, which is more or less influenced by the prototype moral about moral behavior, courage, and heroism (Osswald, et al, 2010).
Speaking of moral values, compassion becomes a character that is expected to be possessed by everyone, because it contains noble and good values for the best interests of various parties and prosocial.
Schopenhauer (1841( , in Kollen, 2016 mentions that there are only three incentives for all human actions: egoism, compassion and hatred. Egoism is the basic incentive of human actions, namely to fight for own existence and happiness and reduce self-suffering. Whereas compassion fights for existence and happiness and reduces the suffering of others. So the difference between egoism and compassion is in the subject being targeted. Whereas hatred is also directed at others but it is the opposite of compassion. The purpose of hatred is to destroy the existence and happiness of others and increase the suffering of others. Schopenhauer explicitly states that the only true moral motive for human action is compassion.

Understanding of Compassion
Compassion comes from Latin which means 'to bear together', or 'to suffer together' (Mcmillan Encyclopedia). Compassion is fundamental to human qualities that enable a person to feel, understand, and respond to the suffering experienced by others. Martin Heidegger (quoted in McMillan Encyclopedia) reveals that the ability to care for others has been identified as a fundamental aspect of the human condition. This ability is a universal response, found in humans throughout the world and in many religious teachings and beliefs, compassion is one of the most valuable spiritual virtues. Brown (2011) reveals that compassion is a spiritual quality that is described as "loving kindness that is awakened by suffering". So in this sense, compassion is a manifestation of love that is awakened by the suffering of others. Brown added that compassion is not just a feeling, but it is experienced by people in a deep spiritual understanding.
In the perspective of Buddhism, compassion is called 'karuna', a basic human quality that is rooted in recognizing suffering and encouragement to reduce suffering and improve prosocial behavior (Old, 2001, in Jazaieri, et al, 2012. In the perspective of Hinduism, compassion is known as 'ahimsa' or dynamic compassion which is the manifestation of 'the divine quality' in humans. Compassion is an active response that requires openness of heart to respect and care for those in need. Ahimsa became the main aspect in Mahatma Gandhi's nonviolent movement in seeking Indian independence (Mcmillan Encyclopedia).
In Islam, compassion is believed to be a natural characteristic of the Prophet Muhammad. In the Koran it is described the compassion shown by the Prophet Muhammad to enemies, friends and children. Mentioned by Salahi (2010), a harmonious blend of compassion and respectable behavior results in a proportion of 'compassion with dignity', a dignified compassion.
In the Jewish and Christian religious traditions, compassion is expressed as a manifestation of love and grace from God. Compassion is how God interacts with His creation, thus, humans should ideally also interact with each other like that.
In other religious traditions and beliefs, efforts to help others who suffer also become a kind of spiritual obligation. On compassion, we see the best side of humanity. Mother Teresa (quoted in McMillan Encyclopedia) even reveals that compassion is "love in action".
Compassion is an element of loving-kindness that includes openness to suffering (both self and others), in a non-defensive and non-judgmental way. Compassion also includes an urge to reduce suffering, knowledge of the causes of suffering, and behavior to reduce suffering (Gilbert, 2005). Seppala (2014) defines compassion as an emotional response when seeing suffering and involves authentic encouragement to help. The Dalai Lama (in Barad, 2007) describes compassion as an attitude that not only expects others to be free from suffering, but also associates commitment, responsibility, and respect for others. Some words that are quite 'similar' in terms of compassion are love, deep feelings, kindness, gentleness, a spirit of generosity, and a warm heart. Even the Dalai Lama in one of his famous humors revealed: "if human nature were so bad, we would not have had to worry about the population problem" (Dalai Lama, in Barad, 2007, p.15)

Benefits of Compassion
Compassion is a very important matter for all human beings. Without the presence of compassion, people will become so greedy, competitive and self-oriented (Dalai Lama in Barad, 2007). The benefits of the presence of compassion are outlined as follows: 1) Benefits for improving mental and physical health Neuroscience research from Grafman (in Seppala, 2014) illustrates the pleasure center, which is part of the brain will be active when someone gives to others (in Grafman's research it was giving charity to the poor). The pleasure center is also active such as when we get something, are loved, and experience sexual pleasure. This research illustrates that activity of giving brings pleasure and creates positive emotions to the subject. The results of a study by Elizabeth Dunn (in Seppala, 2014) added that the experimental group whose participants spent a certain amount of money for the benefit of others, had a higher happiness rate than the group whose participants spent a certain amount of money for their own interests. Poulin (in Seppala, 2014) found that compassion is able to be a buffer against stress and even brings the possibility that someone who applies compassion has a longer life. Compassion increases psychological well-being and helps us expand our perspective on life, not just limited to ourselves. In addition, compassion applied to oneself has an impact on increased kindness and reduced self-judgment, increased feelings of common humanity and decreased isolation, and greater mindfulness and less overidentification with difficult thoughts and feelings (Neff, 2003b). Self-compassion has been consistently linked with positive mental health (Bluth & Neff, 2018). 2) Improve the quality of relationships and interactions between humans Haidt (in Seppala, 2014) states that seeing someone helps others, causes elevation in other people. That is, the model of compassionate behavior is an inspiration that allows the transmission of good deeds done by others to other people. Social researcher James Fowler (in Seppala, 2014) proves that generous behavior can be transmitted in the form of chain reaction of goodness.
In addition to the two benefits above, compassion is a key element in therapy and training to deal with trauma, shame, hatred, loneliness, depression, and terror (Gilbert 2009(Gilbert , 2010(Gilbert , 2016Gilbert & Choden, 2013in Gilbert 2017).

Stages of Compassion
In Barad (2007), the Dalai Lama describes 3 stages of compassion as follows: 1) Compassion as a seed Compassion as a seed is empathy, the ability of humans to put oneself into and sense the suffering of others.

2) Compassion in practice or real action
This stage occurs when the seeds that already exist in someone (empathy) motivate this person to turn it into real action.
3). Continual presense of great compassion At this stage, compassion has become a virtue in a person, which is always present with him, which makes a person fully connected with others and cares for the wellness of others.

Compassionate Actions
The act of compassion occurs when there is a willingness to go beyond one's selfinterest and provide oneself for the good sake of others. In this condition, the act of compassion is the same as an altruistic action, in which we defeat our own self-interest to meet the needs of others. This is the superiority of our humanity. While Tanner (2015) added that true compassion is personal, there is a deep relationship between humans, based on love, understanding, and commitment. In principle, acts of compassion are behaviors carried out in an effort to reduce or eliminate the suffering of others (Brown, 2011;Old, 2001in Jazaieri, et al, 2012Gilbert, 2005; In Lama in Barad, 2007;Seppala, 2014;Schopenhauer, 1841in Kollen, 2016 This study aims to describe and understand various forms of manifestation of compassion in daily life and the process of how compassionate acts are born. With this understanding, we can facilitate more births of compassionate acts to response the needs of the suffering world.

II. Method
The phenomenological qualitative approach that has a strong philosophical basis in describing the experiences of participants who experience a particular phenomenon (Giorgi, 2009;Moustakas, 1994, in Creswell, 2014, was chosen because it is most suitable for this study. Ethical approval for this study was obtained from the Research Ethics Committee of Padjadjaran University number: 57/ UN6.KEP/EC/2018. The data was collected from questionnaire of life experience reflection containing the following open questions: "what kind of compassion have you ever done?" The life experience reflection form was displayed in an online survey filled in from March to May 2018. In addition, in-depth interviews were conducted with the main question "how does a compassionate action process appear?" Participants in this study amounted to 1066 people, lived and were active in Jakarta -Indonesia, and had at least elementary school education. As shown in Table 1, research participants consisted of 674 women and 392 men, their age was ranging from 12 to 65 years old. Most participants were adolescence (between 12-15 years old = 378 participants and between 16-18 years = 243 people). From 1066 participants, 1056 claimed to believe in God (theist) and 10 people (0.93%) did not believe in God (atheists). For in-depth interviews, 7 people were specifically asked and willing to become participants. The 7 participants have diverse backgrounds: religious leaders, journalists, entrepreneur; social activists, sexual violence survivors, and students.
The analysis was carried out using the NVivo 12 Pro Edition software tool, with the license number: NVT12-LZ000-AAK20-HGCTZ-Y99W. To ensure the validity of the analysis, all data were coded by three qualified persons. Any coding discrepancies were discussed until a coding agreement was reached. Table 2. Compassionate Action All participants between 12 to 65 years old, describe at least one experience of doing compassionate acts in various forms and scales. The compassionate acts consist of two large groups, those that are tangible (675 experiences) and which are intangible (599 experiences).

Embodiment of Compassion in Everyday Life
Tangible acts of compassion are in the form of providing financial support (129 experiences), lending or providing needed material goods (160 experiences), taking direct actions (373 experiences), and engaging in social activities (13 experiences). While the intangible acts of compassion are in the form of providing emotional support (167 experiences), companionhip support (133 experiences), informational support (137 experiences), spiritual support (17 experiences), forgiveness (33 experiences), sacrifice and other services (77 experiences), and other forms (35 experiences).
Financial support is carried out in the form of charity, buying unsold merchandises so that the traders can get some income, give some pocket money to friends in need, lend money, give donations to charities, and help financing of living needs. The following is a reflection of the participants' experience: "Help financing the school expenses of a child of my best friend." (GT, female, over 40 years old, teacher) Support in the form of necessities, carried out in the form of gifts, giving food, and lending items needed (school supplies, books, household appliances, electronic equipment, and motorized vehicles). Here is one of the participants' experiences: "I like to give my food to people who live under the bridges without the knowledge of my parents and caregivers." (KW, female, 16-18 years old, high school student, live in orphanage) Act of helping others that is real and direct, are much expressed by participants. Young participants, many of them shared experiences of defending friends who were bullied at school as a compassionate act they did. Whereas adult participants shared experiences defending friends or colleagues at work and in the social interactions. In addition, the forms of help expressed are: helping to tidy up, helping elderly to cross the road, break fights, helping others when there are accidents and natural disasters, help translating a stranger's conversations, help bringing sick people home or to hospital, help taking friends who will give birth to hospital, help completing office works, and delivering the items left behind.
Here's one spontaneous helping experience: "At that time I was travelling alone with my favorite motorbike. At that time I saw a very old grandmother who wanted to cross the road but had difficulty. I stopped and helped the grandmother to cross." (BC,male,(25)(26)(27)(28)(29)(30)employee) Engagement in social activities, both those carried out by educational institutions, companies, non-governmental organizations and religious institutions, is an experience of committing acts of compassion. The activities carried out include being involved in social services, visits to social institutions, and volunteering for humanity. The following is a reflection of the participants' experience:

"Become a volunteer who accompanies children with HIV infection. Doing social activities and teaching at a character education school for HIV-infected children and their families."
(WR, female, 31-40 years old, employee) Emotional support is manifested in the form of entertaining, joking, giving affection, giving attention, encouraging, protecting, giving praise, empathy, giving hope, being faithful, and giving reinforcement. Here is one experience of providing emotional support: "Entertaining and making those people smile and laugh again." (LA, female, 19-24 years old, student) Support in the form of attendance was expressed by participants as a form of compassion. The form is to take time to be a good listener, to accompany when the condition of a person is critical, to keep secrets, take care of and accompany others when sick. Following are some of the experiences of providing companionship: "Being confidante and shoulder to cry on for friends." (JV, female, 12-15 years old, junior high school student) "Helping a friend who suffered from cancer and her family. I accompanied her at the end of her life, I accompanied her daughter who finally became an orphan." (FC, female, over 40 years old, employee) The act of compassion in helping others in learning, helping to do the homeworks, teaching friends, giving advices, providing information about scholarship and jobs, and help providing solutions, is also a form of informational support. Here is one of the participants' experiences providing informational support: "Teaching friends who don't understand the stuff being taught." (RJ, male, 12-15 years old, junior high school student) Here is one experience in providing spiritual support: "Regularly pray for him." (MD, female, over 41 years old, housewife) Another form of spiritual support in addition to praying is to support other people to worship and carry out religious rituals.
One form of compassion from participants is forgiveness. Apart from that, there is sacrifice and serve. The form of sacrifice and serve is giving in, giving priority to the interests of others over oneself, devoting life for sake of servicing others. Whereas acts of compassion include in other categories consist of respect, acceptance without discrimination, respect for different opinions, making the parents proud of, being patient in facing the bad characters of others, and being friendly to others. Here are some participant experiences:

The Process of How Compassion Is Born
From the results of this study, the birth process of compassion can be seen in the following figure: The birth of compassion begins with a person is being touched by the experience of suffering. Personal suffering experienced in life, is a 'stuff' to be reflected and interpreted. The experience of the suffering of the participant AN (Journalist, founder of the Kick Andy Foundation), is revealed in an interview: "Regardless of the past, my parents were poor and (I) had many desires that were not achieved due to our economic conditions. So the unconscious realm states that no more child should suffer like me, this might be unconscious. How sad to be poor." The suffering experienced by TS (female, humanitarian activist) who has experienced sexual violence at college, became the seed for the emergence of encouragement to help alleviate the suffering of others: But the experience of suffering isn't enough to cease at 'being experienced'. It needs to be reflected to enter the next, concern stage. Reflected again, then suffering is interpreted and sought for the learning essence. Childhood experiences are full of limitations, so NA reflected how much it hurts for the poor thus, the hope that no other child needs to suffer like he used to. As well as TS. The experience of suffering sexual violence was reflected and later on became the power to help those who suffer.
Suffering experienced by others can also be the seed of the birth of strong compassion. The experience of RM (male, pastor & social humanitarian activist) revealed that the suffering of children born with HIV-infection and their poverty moved his heart to act more. WH (male, entrepreneur and donor of social care providers) was moved to witness the suffering of children who were experiencing illness and poverty. Empathy towards those who suffer, develops into a concern to reduce the suffering of others. The expression of suffering around us which is the seed of compassion is expressed by IS (male, priest & religious figure) as follows: "In Tangerang there are many factories, laborers, parents and young kids. What we do is to create a decent environment. In the morning (the kids) are invited to play, in the afternoon after taking shower, it is clean. Simple, but that's what is needed." Kindness that comes from outside, can also raise concern, when someone is inspired. AN (Journalist, founder of the Kick Andy Foundation), revealed: "There was then the story of Sugeng, his job was delivering milk. We saw once again that disability (Sugeng had an amputated foot) did not discourage people. Sugeng came and told stories with jokes and happiness. Also great, when Sugeng had his fake leg broken, he made his own fake leg. He made prosthetic limbs for himself and many people heard that, then asked him to make fake limbs for them too (free of charge, because people who asked were also poor people). Finally Sugeng agreed and he made prosthetic limbs for others, and if there were any leftovers he made for children. In his poverty he could help Then the inspiration from the works of Mother Teresa was expressed as follows: "The example I could think of was Mother Teresa, who was willing to give up everything to save people who had leprosy and almost died. People like her are still there." (C, 21 years old, female, student) Reflecting on the suffering of oneself, empathizing with the suffering of others, and the inspiration of the goodness of others, raises a 'concern'. Being a concern, something that is considered important to be given a special time, thought, and to be made special efforts for that. As a journalist, AN concerned the 'spectacle' is not a quality television broadcast, because it promotes an instant culture and hedonism. RM and several other participants have special concerns about prejudice and discrimination based on religion and race. While the religious leader IS highlights about the changing identity. Humans are seen from "gadget" and outer skin, neglecting the excavation of identity and meaning of life.
The digging out of the 'concern' then rises the strength because it facilitates the emergence of forces that encourage and attract someone to act compassionately. The driving factor is the recognition of one's needs due to the suffering facts experienced. While pulling factors are ideal goals that are expected to occur. The phrase of the journalist AN clarifies about the driving and pulling factors: "But many people need prosthetic limbs and can't pay, finally I realized and made a move, which was finally called as the Kick Andy Foundation." "I am aware that the role that I have as a journalist should be able to affect many people and not only cover the facts." "I realized that I could use this program not only to entertain but also to arouse people's enthusiasm to act and to encourage people to help others." With the awareness and strength of the driving and pulling factors, before becoming a decision to commit or not commit a compassionate act, then there are external factors that also contribute, namely the inhibiting and opportunity factors.
The inhibiting factors are all external factors that hinder decision making to act compassionately. In AN's experience of setting up a foundation for charity, the obstacle was the prejudice of others, especially religious prejudice. In social activities, RM found that discriminatory behavior in the form of giving negative 'stamp' on HIV cases did still exist. IS as a religious leader revealed that competition, changing identity (relying on external attributes), and abandoning God in daily life, became obstacles to the decision to act compassionately.
Whereas the opportunity factors are all external factors that support the decision to act compassionately. In particular, AN revealed that his encounter with people who had the same 'frequency' helped him to set up a foundation and his television talkshow to help people, as revealed below: "People said a bird would join its species, so when we joined good people I realized that there were many kind people in Indonesia. Only they couldn't get on the stage because those who went on the stage were those strange people (who were intolerant, discriminatory), so the more I gathered with kind people, the more my network was widened, so I realized that there were many kind people out there." The driving and pulling factors then proceed with the dynamics between obstacles and opportunities, produce a decision whether an act of compassion will or will not be carried out. C decided to do nothing when witnessing the suffering of his brother and mother, as he revealed: "Because I was afraid of touching (the case) wrongly, he was vulnerable, I had to do it, I was also helpless against daddy's cruelty, so I just sat on the fence, watching." Although the experience of suffering is witnessed, empathetic, becomes a concern, and there is encouragement and attraction, but when barriers cannot be overcome and opportunities are not found, it is decided that an act of compassion falls before its birth, it is decided not to do so. On the other hand, if obstacles can be overcome and opportunities can be seen, decision for acts of compassion will be made, more likely, as AN revealed: "So I decided to make a show like Kick Andy and this big circle in order to be able to influence people and have a positive role to change society from a worse condition to become a more positive one." The birth of compassion is marked by the realization of acts of compassion. The acts of compassion expressed by participants in the interview, namely being a social activist, establishing a foundation to help others, giving donations to social institutions, and initiating a movement of compassion in religious communities.
Do not stop until the birth of compassion. The act of compassion will bear fruit. The fruit is in the form of people who suffer eventually get a help (reduced suffering), and the fruit is the occurrence of 'transmission' of compassion to others. One act of compassion will strengthen the possibility of the emergence of other acts of compassion, becoming a powerful driving and pulling factor for the birth of the next acts of compassion. Not only for yourself, one act of compassion from someone, can inspire acts of compassion from others.
Physical suffering (injuries & accidents, health problems, disability, uncomfortable conditions, physical abuse, and unfavorable economic condition); psychological suffering (cognitive and emotional suffering); existential suffering; and relational suffering (Sugianto, Abidin, Purwono, and Siregar, 2018), is also the reason for the emergence of acts of compassion. Very diverse variations and weights of suffering experienced, but acts of compassion also come along. Compassion is manifested in a simple form to a more complex one. Compassionate acts, both tangible (financial support, material goods, helping behavior, and involved in a social activity), and intangible (emotional support, companion support, informational support, spiritual support, forgiveness, and sacrifice & serve) are done in everyday life. This research illustrates that everyone, regardless of age, and whatever their background, has the ability to be compassionate.
For every suffering experienced, there is compassion that can be 'consolation'. Physical suffering, which is experienced for various reasons, can be partially comforted by tangible compassion. Whereas to comfort sufferings that are not at the physical level, intangible compassion plays a helping role. Ideally, everyone experiences suffering, but each person is also an actor of compassion. Thus, even though the world suffers, compassion is always born and reborn.
The critical question is then: "Is the act of compassion that is currently being done, enough to console the existing problems?" To answer this, sources of suffering need to be realized and reduced. Moha (delusion), dosa (hatred), and lobha (greed) which are the sources of suffering (Tsering, 2005), need to get special attention to be minimized; and compassionate actions are taken to reduce or eliminate the suffering of others (Brown, 2011;Lama, 2001in Jazaieri, et al., 2012Gilbert, 2005; Dalai Lama in Barad, 2007;Seppala, 2014;Schopenhauer, 1841in Kollen, 2016, and these need to be improved. Therefore the notion of the birth of compassion is very important, so that compassionate behaviors can be encouraged and developed for the common good.
Compassion is born when it is manifested in the form of real action. From figure 1, it can be seen that the process of the birth of compassion seems to be so long and complicated. Not that acts of compassion cannot be born spontaneously, but the decision-making process for compassion has almost the same path. Personal suffering reflected and interpreted, empathy for the suffering of others, and inspiration of kindness from others, result in concern.
It becomes something important to fight for. From the concern, then the driving and pulling factors emerge. But these two factors alone are not enough to enable us to make a decision to be compassionate. The driving and pulling factors need to go through examinations where obstacles need to be faced, and some supporting opportunities need to be identified. Then the compassionate decision becomes even, and compassion is born in the form of action. This process of birth of compassion is sooner or later, depending on the scale of the act of compassion to be carried out and how well-trained a person is in compassion. The more often a person does the acts of compassion, the process becomes faster and more sustainable. This is what the Dalai Lama mentioned (in Barad, 2007) as a continual presence of great compassion. At this stage, compassion has become a virtue in a person, which is always present with him, which makes a person fully connected with others and cares for the welfare of others. So that the birth of compassion is not only at certain times, but becomes something that continues in a person, becomes a part of him.

IV. Conclusion
The findings in this study are expected to help to realize that despite suffering, humans are able to be compassionate. And with an awareness of kindness as a human being, it is hoped that we can continue to facilitate the birth of compassion everywhere.
Return to the initial question, "how to reconnect the disconnected world?" How to help the suffering world? The answer is with acts of compassion. As revealed by the Dalai Lama: "Love and compassion are necessities, not luxuries. Without them humanity cannot survive." Compassion is a necessity. Its existence makes us realize all the noble side of our humanity, and therefore we can survive and be safe together.